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Upside-Down and Backwards

Raising an autistic child can feel like learning to walk upside-down and backwards. What does a parent do with a child that started to read at 2 years old but can’t seem to ask for his or her needs at 3? While working on simple phrases like: “Juice, please,” “more, please,” and “milk please” to help my son communicate his needs to us, he would astound us with his amazing reading ability and his spelling of complex words like “astronaut” in magnetic letters on our fridge. These mixed signals of intelligence at times confused and perplexed me as his parent. Early on, I could not tell if I was raising a genius or a stubborn idiot.

Perhaps you’ve been perplexed by your little one, too, and wondered how to reach him or her, how to communicate with them well enough to potty train? Oh, how difficult potty training was for my son! It took 2 years of trying every method I could find, and then a week of what we called, “Potty Training Boot Camp.” I literally spent 5 hours per day for 5 days straight “camping out” in the bathroom with my son just to get him to pee or poo in the toilet or potty chair appropriately. We used the laptop with us in the bathroom to play potty training songs and educational videos, and rewarded him with time outside of the bathroom when he did pee or poo in the potty or toilet. Now, he’s completely dry during the day and is able to tell us when he needs to go potty! My best advice to you if you’re trying to potty train your little one is to figure out what best motivates your child and how your child learns best, and incorporate both in your approach. My son reads well, so we included a step-by-step instruction sheet on how to use the potty, and he loves videos, so we used potty songs and instructional videos, too.

When my son first got diagnosed with PDD NOS with autistic traits at 3 years old, I did not know what to do to help him. Websites and advice from friends, opinions and facts, and mountains of information overwhelmed my husband and I. We chose to send him to a special education pre-school through our local school district. He’s attended that program for 6 months, has an IEP, and was mainstreamed or placed in a normal pre-school class last year. He shows remarkable improvements in his ability to speak words and sentences now, and we owe that to the special education team through the public school system. Now, he’ll turn 5 this summer and will attend kindergarten this fall.

If you suspect that your child may have autism, call your local school district and have the child tested. Many resources are available now for free through the local school districts for kids with autism, and that’s a great place to start if you’re feeling overwhelmed. If you need help sifting though all the advice and information out there, I’m here for you. Every child is unique and may need different resources depending on how their autism affects them and you, and some advice is better than others. Don’t lose hope that your child may not live a “normal” life. Actually, your child is extraordinary and special in many wonderful ways, too. Love them unconditionally, advocate for them, and enjoy the journey! Learn how to walk upside-down and backwards.

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