How.Do You Explain A Bad Guy To 3 Year Old 10 Tips on Life After Men – How to Get Back on Track After Separation Or Divorce

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10 Tips on Life After Men – How to Get Back on Track After Separation Or Divorce

10 tips on life after men: How to get back on track after separation, divorce, being cheated on, or generally being abandoned by the man you love

Your life has come to a standstill. For years you have given your all to the man in your life, and now you find out that he cheated, or that he no longer loves you – in short – suddenly you find yourself here alone, divorced, separated, without a man at your side, angry and despised. How to get back on your feet? How do you even begin to feel better about yourself? How to deal with children – especially angry teenagers? Need a job but haven’t worked in years – what the heck now, where do you start? I hope to help you with a series of articles, of which this is the first, because this is where it begins – finding yourself and learning to like who you are before you walk there with a straight back and find your feet in the great big world on its own.

Now you may be asking yourself how the hell am I going to talk about this? Trust me. At 44, I found myself a single mother of 4 children aged 20, 18, 11 and 7 – three girls and a boy. And I’ve been alone for a while. I went through all the motions – anger, contempt, the whole story. I, too, had to learn to love myself after spending years with a man who told me I was worthless. I also had to know who I am, what I like, and where I want to go from here, and I had to get out of there and find a job after not working for almost six years. In addition, I had two angry teenagers (VERY in the case of my son) who suddenly found freedom from the dictatorship and tried to try everything under the sun that they were not allowed to try before. Do you want to become your teenager’s best friend? I’ll show you how, but that’s another article entirely. Let’s start with you. So you feel fat, ugly and useless? So you feel as if no one else can ever love you again? Make it true. He’s the one who lost, not you. You are special, you are unique, and you have to understand that before you can do anything else. So, where to start?

1) Find out what you like (usually like maybe) and find it. We all have our little things. With me, it is written. I write novels. I lost myself in them. When our troubles began, they became my crutch. My characters became real. I got my older daughter (then 17) involved. It became a great bonding tool between the four of us because the kids enjoyed sharing ideas with me and getting new ideas for my novels. Anichia also joined me and wrote a few pages. The new ideas I got came mostly from her. The point is that we all have something we like to do and when we survive in a bad marriage, we tend to forget those things. It becomes a battle to stay healthy. Come back here. Maybe you liked gardening? Go for it – discover the garden and the landscape of the thing in China, if that’s what you like to do. Find out what you like and start doing those things. It’s great therapy and helps you find yourself, because that’s what you need most.

2) Get a makeover. I have been told so many times that I am useless. Now I agree on one thing, I am not a housewife. I’ve had my head in the clouds most of the time, but I’ll tell you this, I know I did my best, and I know I’m not fat, ugly, or old. But after a long time, you tend to start feeling that you are all those things – useless, fat and ugly. What did I do? I got a haircut. Simple, easy and cheap – but let me tell you, it worked. I feel better. So I went a little further and got a tattoo. Which made him mad and me really happy, not because he was mad about it, but because he walked out of that tattoo parlor bursting with pride. I had done something I never thought I had the courage to do and I felt like a new woman. Of course I took my two teenagers and went to the pub (me for a shot of tequila and them for coke) right after and ended up comparing tattoos with other women like me. Great feeling. Now don’t rush out to get tattoos just because I said it worked for me. Maybe you need to spend a day at a spa and soak in a hot tub and get your nails done. Whatever works for you. Delete it. Tell yourself you are special, because you are.

3) Take up a new hobby. What is it that you always wanted to do? Are you learning to play golf? Do you go scuba diving? Go out and do it. Nothing stopping you? You might just discover something about yourself that you never knew and you might make new friends. Go ahead and have fun. Life is meant to be lived, not moped.

4) Get out there and make new friends. Harder than it looks but worth it. I didn’t have a car for a while, so the kids and I had to walk everywhere. That meant I met a lot of new people and saw a lot of new faces. Many of these people have become good friends and they have all supported me throughout. Funny thing though – the friends I thought I had while I was married suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth. Be prepared for that. The ones that are fake will fade away and the ones you are doing now will stay. Put your shyness in the bath and rinse. People are nicer than you think. Go ahead and find out for yourself.

5) Take time to spend with your children and do things with them that you always wanted to do, but never had the time. Survival wears on children and soon they forget that they are just – children. Check them out, find out who they are and what they like, listen to their music, go for a walk, take them to the park, put them in the car and take them to the museum or on vacation. We did this – my son is a surfer and wanted to do trials, so I decided to take him and do a long weekend. We did this twice, and in the process we became closer than I thought we could ever be. My 20 year old discusses absolutely everything with me – and I mean everything – and my son does pretty much the same thing. What other mother can boast that her teenagers trust her like this? It is because I have involved them in my life, in my decisions, in my heartaches and in my joys. They are my life. Your children are your life. Be part of yours.

6) Take long walks on your own and look around you. Discover nature and yourself Be alone from time to time, but not to mope and worry. Walk, look at flowers, trees, birds – go for a walk and think about yourself and your children and your plans and what you want from life, where you want to be five years from now or just don’t think no, just look. Pink sings a song “Leave me alone (I want to be alone)” Sometimes you need to be alone to find yourself.

7) Get involved in the lives of people less fortunate than you. My teenagers were never allowed friends, not until dad left. Now, suddenly, friends came and the house came alive. Wow! It was great! But with this I learned that a lot of heartaches out there are worse than mine – like the fourteen-year-old girl with the 23-year-old boyfriend who got pregnant, or the 16-year-old boy whose father I use the abuse – children who feel they have. without hope. It made me sick, it made me angry and it made me want to participate in his life. It took attention away from my problems and seemed to make them less important. It helped.

8) Stay motivated and positive. You will have days where you are depressed and everything seems to drag you down. The struggle Get up, straighten your back, take a long hot bath and tell yourself to stay positive. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Don’t let life get you down, get life down.

9) Put on some music (Real loud) and sing or dance your heart out. Don’t laugh but while I was married I forgot how much I liked Bon Jovi’s music. When my husband left, I discovered it and I also discovered that my son’s music is not so bad. I started singing along to Linkin Park, at full blast, never mind the neighbors. Despised? All right. I put Jon Bon Jovi on full blast and sang at the top of my voice while cleaning the house and pretty soon I felt like a million bucks. The words of his words speak to me and give me hope. Listen to “It’s My Life”; trust me – that works wonders for me. Music works miracles.

10) Gather a few female best friends and have a night out. We did this. Rachel, me, and a few other chicks went to Waves, a local restaurant, and had a few drinks, a few laughs, and sang karaoke. What a night! I had to drag Rachel out by the neck (her position was very much in the same position as me, but more depressed) but it did us both the world of good. Word of warning – don’t rush (there’s nothing more disgusting than a drunk woman) and don’t try to hook up with a man who seems interested. Stay away! That night is up to you not to screw up and the next morning you just wake up hating yourself. Find out before you find a new love otherwise it will never work.

I hope these tips help. That’s where I started and it’s a good place to start. I am on my way and I feel better about myself than I have felt in many years. I don’t need a man, I have what I need. If you find someone, great. If I don’t, cool. Life is worth living. Start doing that. Live.

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