How Long Should A 3 Month Old Sleep A Day Long-Distance Cross-Culture Relationship Advice

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Long-Distance Cross-Culture Relationship Advice

Lindsey and Juo met while Lindsey was studying abroad at Ewah Woman’s University in Seoul, South Korea back in 2015. She was there to study for a full year when out of nowhere Juo sent her a message on Instagram. Lindsey was hesitant at first, but decided it would be a great way to make friends in Korea. After a few times of casual dating, Yuo asked Lindsey to be his girlfriend on his birthday in November or 2015. Since Lindsey returned to the US in June 2016, they have been in a long-distance relationship with Lindsey living in Florida and Yuo. living in South Korea. They see each other every 4 months for 2 months at a time. Giving their full effort in the relationship and using the distance to make their hearts grow fonder. Lindsey and Juo will both graduate from college this December and Lindsey plans to move back to Korea in July 2018 after applying to be an English teacher there.

Questions to Her

On our first date…

I honestly kept thinking about all the things that could happen… with the worst case scenario being a scene straight out of the movie “Taken”. He made the trip to my campus and patiently waited for me with flowers and a heartfelt letter in hand. We grabbed lunch, tried to talk- but nerves got the best of us, and then we went shopping for a winter coat because I had no idea how to prepare for winter after spending my whole life in Florida.

During the first few months of dating my deal breaker would be…

some kind of lie. If you are not truthful in the early stages of our relationship, it is a recipe for instability later. The other (stupid) thing for me would be eating with my mouth open… that was always just a pet peeve of mine.

I learned that He is right for me when…

He told me that he will always take care of me and that no matter how long it takes he will wait for the day when we can be together. His dedication sealed the deal.

I had a culture shock moment when…

we decided to wear a second suit for the first time! In America, it’s not popular for couples to show off each other like that wearing matching clothes, so when we did it, I thought it was so interesting but I LOVED it at the same time. Now, I feel like Yuo and I match some part of our outfits more often than not and we both enjoy it!

3 things I love about Him are…

the road he cares about me. He always asks me if I ate or how my sleep was. He offers me his coat when it’s cold or his shoulder when I feel tired. For example, we were walking home on the subway one night after a long day and Yuo took the moment to use his jacket to cover my legs so I could sit comfortably in my skirt, resting my head on his shoulder.

The second thing is that he understands me. He takes the time to listen and hear what I have to say. He will listen to me vent and then tell me everything is fine and leave it at that. He doesn’t let our language difference get in the way. If he needs more clarification, he will ask and never say never mind or give up and for me that is important.

Third, he gives his all to our relationship. He always thinks about our future and openly talks about it. He is comfortable around me and shows me his love constantly. There was never a moment where I could not sense his true mind or intentions. For example, one recent topic we’ve been stuck on is the idea of ​​adopting a dog or cat when I move to Korea. It might seem like a simple topic, but it really plans a part of our future and wants to grow together.

The biggest misconception about his country and culture was…

the idea that Korean guys in Korea would never see a relationship with a foreigner as true. I was always told to be careful and that they might just see you as an easy target or a fun experience to brag about to their friends.

The nicest things he ever did for me were…

Make a personalized photo book of all our memories from our first year together. As a one year present to me, Juo created a huge book filled with picture after picture of all the things we did together. He had dates written on all the pages and little captions for each photo. I couldn’t believe he did something like that and to me, it was the most special thing I ever got because I could see all the time and love he put into it. It is something I will cherish forever.

Second thing was that he proudly waited for me at the airport with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I had ever seen and we both fought back tears as we hugged each other for the first time in months. Seeing the love of your life standing there waiting for you with the biggest smile on their face is one of the best moments anyone in a long distance relationship can experience. Those moments are priceless.

During this relationship, the most important thing I learned about myself was…

that I can be patient and I can say that I learned what it meant to show love in ways beyond physical actions. Love can be seen in the words you say to each other and the effort you give each day. I know that distance is only a problem in a relationship if you make it so. I have become such a patient person and I now understand that waiting is just part of our journey. Juo and I are in this for the long haul and if that means waiting months on end then so be it. Honestly, it was a skill I lacked in the past, but this relationship changed that.

If there is one piece of advice I could give to my fellow Western girlfriends who are in the AMWF relationships, it would be…

to be yourself without limits. There is never a limit to how much you can learn about another person’s culture. There is never a limit to becoming a better version of yourself without changing who you are. In the end, there will never be a limit to who you find love and connection to. Know that it’s okay to accept those of different races, ethnicities, religions and cultures because no one says you have to find love in someone or something familiar.

Questions to Him

Asking her for the first time was…

exciting I saw her for the first time on Instagram and thought she was so beautiful, so I had to send her a message. After talking together for a while I couldn’t wait to meet her in person so, I just plucked up the courage and asked!

I learned that She was right for me when…

She told me she would love me forever. Some people think that’s easy to say, but to me, that’s something so special because I can really feel her mind. Besides, she always knows how to surprise me. For example, she would send me letters in the mail for no reason and fill them with our photos. She always writes me a sweet message inside as well.

I had a culture shock when…

she told me that there really is no public transportation system in Florida. She said there was no metro or big bus system and I was shocked! After I visited her in Florida for the first time, I realized later that most people used cars, so there was no need for public transportation.

3 things I love about her are

She loves me unconditionally. I have never felt love like this before and it makes me feel special. No matter what, I know she will be by my side and I will absolutely do the same for her.

She always thinks about me. Recently she told me that whenever she talks about me or thinks about me, she will touch our couple ring that we wear. I feel we share our feelings. If I’m happy I can share that happiness with her. If she is sad, I can understand her sadness and do my best to make her happy. She understands me, she makes me happy, she is beautiful… how can I not love her? Sometimes I still can’t believe she’s my girlfriend!

The biggest misconception about her country and culture was…

that I thought their eating habits would be similar to those I have seen in movies and TV shows. I thought that when I went to America, I would see everyone eating fast food or frozen dinners every day, but that was not true. I will say that I think eating out is definitely more popular there than in Korea, but it’s not what the movies make it out to be.

The things she likes to do for fun with me…

travels and talks! We are obsessed with traveling and creating memories around the world. Every time we are together, we always plan a trip. Our first trip together was to Tokyo, Japan in 2016! These days we are already planning our next trip for when I visit her in the US. With her there is never a dull moment. Whenever we video chat or call or text, we always laugh at something or make each other smile.

During this relationship the most important thing I learned about myself was….

the need to understand. After being with Lindsey for almost 2 years, I have become better at understanding and listening. Even though she’s American and I’m Korean, I’ve realized that doesn’t play a role in our ability to understand each other. I feel we know each other better because we are both interested in each other’s culture.

If there is one piece of advice I could give to my fellow Asian friends who are in the AMWF relationships it would be…

that if you are now in long distance or would like to have a relationship with someone from another country in the future I will just tell you not to give up! If you can’t stay together now, you have to show all your love and feelings for that person. Talk about your future. Get to know where you both want to be in the future and plan for it. It will keep you both excited and set a goal for you all to achieve.

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