How Many Hours Does A 3 Day Old Baby Sleep Parent-Child Relationship: The Time To "Stop" And "Listen"

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Parent-Child Relationship: The Time To "Stop" And "Listen"

“Parenting IS the hardest job in the world!”, a statement every new parent hears. Your response would either be a simple nod or a laugh, but you won’t have any idea until your baby comes out.

I bet you thought, “No, it doesn’t sound that bad.” Once your child is born, it means the end of your social life; no more going out on Fridays to meet friends. Instead, you’ll be at home tending to your baby’s needs.

You might have thought you could wake up early to run! But the reality is that you will be begging for a few minutes of sleep until your child starts crying for milk or a diaper.

Expectation vs. Reality in Parenting

Ah! We ALL thought it would be easy. YOU had a vision – family vacations, fun kids’ activities, your baby’s firsts and more – but it can’t always go as you plan.

sleeping

Waiting: You turn off the lights and put on the lullabies as you rock your baby to sleep. After half an hour, you will put your child to bed and sleep next to him all night.

Reality: It’s 11pm and your baby is showing no signs of sleep. Even if the child is sleeping, you would wake up from the cries every few hours.

food

Expectation: Feeding your child vegetables and meat easily.

Reality: Your child throws a tantrum and pushes the food away. In the end, you will clean up a lot of wasted food.

Bathing

Expectation: Your child is in the tub playing with a rubber duck while you scrub and clean him.

Reality: As you bathe your child, you will get wet in the process. There will be times when your child doesn’t even want to go inside!

Social Life

Waiting: Saturday evening, you go out with your friends after a tiring week. You would be laughing and dancing all night long.

Reality: Saturday morning, you’ll call it quits because you’re still exhausted from the sleepless nights. You would choose sleep over going out, every day.

These are some examples of the reality of parenting. Of course, it’s not always bad. There are great experiences that come with being a parent.

· Being able to see your child for the first time,

· Observing as he explores the world – fascination with his eyes as he looks from one object to another,

· The contagious laugh of a baby,

· The peaceful face while your child sleeps in your arms, and much more.

As the child grows…

There will be new and difficult problems. But problems come along with great and unforgettable memories.

Let’s cut to the chase, kids won’t always follow what you want. As your child grows, he will do what he thinks is right. This is nothing bad, it shows the desire to be independent.

But what is unacceptable is how the child stops listening to you! What is the cause of this? The need for freedom?

There is only one cause and most parents deny it. One word: Communication. “What?! But I must talk to my child!”

What is the real reason you can’t communicate effectively? Are you…

  1. the “lecturer”

We were already a child before, on the receiving end of our parents’ lectures about “don’t do this because…”.

Did it help you? Sometimes, yes! but what if your parents start talking non-stop? You may find yourself staring off into space or ignoring them altogether.

A child’s attention span is short. So, it is best to send your message in less than 30 seconds. But what if it still doesn’t work? Maybe you’re the kind of parent who says…

  1. “No it’s no!”

Or any negative feedback such as, “You can’t do that!” while you raise your voice and point a finger.

Now, what’s wrong with this? If you emphasize the word “You”, the child may feel that they are being attacked or accused of something. remember, when you keep saying no, the person will do the quite the opposite of what you want.

  1. Screaming is the ONLY option

Imagine: Your child is busy on his phone and you call him a few times. When you start yelling, that’s enough to get his attention.

Parents resort to yelling and children only listen when you do. Why? Because they concluded that once you shout, you mean a thing.

  1. Speaking to an inattentive child

Cynthia is busy watching a TV show on Netflix when her mom comes in and says, “Cyn, what did I tell you about your clothes lying around? Can’t you once…”

As parents, we can’t avoid talking right away. We believe that our child’s ears would perk up at the sign of our voice. The only problem here is not alerting your child first before you say a message.

  1. Create a dominant child

If your child is used to getting his way, then it is more likely that you have a dominant child. A dominant child is an individual who only listens and does what they want.

Hurting and giving in to tantrums in the early stages of childhood creates this type of behavior.

  1. Mental Condition

Mental Health Awareness should be a practice in your family. You’ve tried everything you can to listen to your child, but all you get is a big NO. What does this mean? It is better to go for a check, problems like hearing conditions or any are present.

There are also disorders like Oppositional Defiant Disorder, in which your child NEVER listens to anyone. The child will be so energetic that it will disappear.

what to do

Have you ever been in such a situation? You ask your child to do something and he refuses to do it. You will ask in a nice way, but what you get is still no. Even if your child is angry, he will strongly say “NO!”.

“Help! Do I have to resort to punishment?” Do you think it is the best choice? In all honesty, punishment creates more problems. Your child is more likely to be stubborn and defiant. So, what is the alternative? Discipline.

Discipline is a more realistic perspective in parenting technique. Instead of the old-fashioned “follow what your parents want,” discipline basically teaches us to work WITH our children.

What do you get from this?

·Be more patient

·Feel the emotional connection

·Desire to be a great example

Once you practice this, communication will improve. Chances are, your child will be the one who comes up to you and says “Mom and Dad, my day was…”, instead of you starting the conversation.

Sometimes though, the only thing your child wants is quality time. There are times when we are busy with our life – need to finish paperwork at home, prepare a meal or go to bed.

Yes, you do try to make conversation but it’s just a casual, “how’s your day going? What did you do at school?”.

Other times, your child is reaching, but you don’t realize it. Ask your child this question, “Why don’t you listen to me?” Maybe you’ll be here, “Because you don’t”. How is that possible?

There are times when we say, “Okay, I’m listening” while you’re doing a task. What your child really wants is for you to stop what you’re doing, look at them and show interest.

How would you react if you are speaking in an important meeting and the president is busy texting on his phone? Won’t you feel disappointed and offended? You were so excited to tell your speech but all you get is a half-hearted acknowledgment.

Well, that’s how your child feels when you choose to do something while he’s talking. Your child would feel that he is not appreciated enough by his own parents.

The three questions to ask yourself…

As a parent, we tend to use an authoritative tone. It is the same expression as “Hear me roar and be afraid”. Why do we use something we would not want to experience? To speak in a way that will offend us?

The three simple questions will be enough to help you for self-realization. Am I doing the right thing for my child? What should I improve?

  1. What is the reason behind my child’s behavior?

Before you start lecturing or disciplining your child, find the root of the problem. What causes this behavior? Why was your child silent? Sometimes, the answer is visible but we need a simple nudge to become aware of it.

  1. What is my child feeling?

Children are people, when yelled at they tend to hide in a cocoon. Before you explode in anger, try to step into your child’s shoes and ask yourself how it would feel if you were on the receiving end.

  1. What is the effect of this technique?

Punishment creates destructive behavior, spoiling your child creates a dependent individual. But discipline makes a child mature and emotionally stable.

Sometimes, your child just needs an ear to listen to them, hugs and kisses for comfort, and just knowing that home is where you can be “you”.

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