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A Feline Soap Opera?
Whether to live with Animal Communicator means everyone gets along?
There’s no question that integrating cats can be very, very difficult. In my last post about Melissa’s integration I thought I had finally turned around. Well, maybe that was just another corner in a complex maze.
In the wild, domestic cats naturally live in multigenerational female family groups, as do lions. But when confined indoors and when the cats do not relate to each other, conflict can be difficult to overcome.
In our human families, we bring together cats that are not biologically related to each other. This can cause great challenges, because it is not natural for them to live like this.
When Starlight came out almost 5 years ago (Is that long ago? Really?) and quickly integrated in about 2 months, I could hardly believe it was that easy.
Of course, there was a lot of preparation done, even before she was born. In addition, Starlight has a very sweet disposition. She doesn’t like to challenge anyone on anything. So naturally, the existing hierarchy was never questioned and all was well.
Then came Melissa.
Melissa, by personality and possibly genetics, is a very dominant cat.
She wanted to take over the cattery where she was born.
Then at 6 months, she expected to rule all 3 cats in my family.
Despite all my efforts to dissuade her, Melissa knew exactly what she wanted and wouldn’t back down.
She refused to listen to anything I had to say (perpetual teenager?) and still yells at me when I start telling her something she doesn’t want to hear.
Sometimes I get a picture of a child having a tantrum, screaming and putting her feet (toes) in her ears.
From her first day here, Melissa had never shown the slightest submission to the top cat, Sakhara, and had never intended anything but to rule the household.
I explained that there are different ways to express dominance, and that violence is not always the best way. But of course, with “feet in ears” Melissa did not hear me and completely rejects my requests.
Melissa is now over 2 years old.
Melissa is now the dominant cat.
Her relationships with Violet and Starlight are, on the whole, well-balanced and respectful, most of the time.
However, with Sakhara, the conflict continues unabated.
Sakhara refuses to officially resign her position.
Melissa continues to hit Sakhara at least once a day, and goes out of her way to do so. Even if Sakhara sits on my lap and minds her own business, Melissa will attack. I can see in Melissa’s eyes and body language as she prepares to strike.
Nothing I did to try to stop this made any difference at all except in the moment. If I hiss at Melissa or scold her, she backs off and then just waits until I’m not looking.
Due to Sakhara’s age and general health (about 21 years old), I still run interference. To me, Sakhara is owed some respect because she has always been kind, caring and considerate of others.
Sakhara chose to sleep in a room alone with the door closed. That way she doesn’t have to walk past Melissa to get to the litter box after I’ve gone to bed. I’m fine with this, but when I open her door in the morning, Melissa charges right past me with lightning speed.
In my efforts to resolve things between these two, I discovered a past life in which Melissa and Sakhara had a terrible conflict that resulted in terrible torture and death for Melissa. Melissa is unforgiving, and Sakhara won’t even forgive herself.
So the karma continues.
While I have not completely given up my efforts to help each of these beautiful creatures find inner peace, there is a powerful lesson for me in all of this. While meditating one day, I was told to use this affirmation:
“I accept God’s Perfection in everything.
I let go of having to fix everything.”
A really powerful lesson. It’s not up to me to solve this. It depends on them.
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