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Don’t Say This to Parents Whose Children Have Autism

If your child has autism, then you are a walking target for friends, relatives and even strangers to offer unsolicited advice. You understand that they have good intentions, but it’s still a very hurtful experience. We have compiled a list of common mistakes that people make. When telling parents that their child has autism, here are some things you should never say.

AUTISM does not mean deaf

Talk to your friend and you will see that his child is behaving strangely. Be curious and ask yourself “What is he doing? Does he always do this?” Questions like these put a parent in a very difficult situation. They are also very damaging to the self-esteem of the autistic child. The child might not look at you, but he heard what you said.

A common misconception is that people with autism do not understand the world around them. Nothing could be further from the truth. People with autism may not respond or react in a typical way. They may not speak much, but they understand what is being said. Keep in mind that many of them have acute hearing and can hear what you say clearly across a room.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

You’re standing in line at a crowded store. The woman in front of you is struggling to maintain her sanity. His son runs off and pushes the items from the sales racks to the ground. “What an insolent child” you think to yourself. “His mother should have disciplined him better!”

Don’t just jump to conclusions. It is very possible that the child has autism. Even if you’re tempted, don’t roll your eyes and shake your head in disdain with other customers. This mother makes judgments at every turn. You will make her day if you smile broadly at her. So she offers to keep her place online so she can redirect her child.

COUNCIL OF DISCIPLINE

You are visiting a friend whose child has autism. His son is diligently building a tower and accidentally knocks it over. Devastated by his mistake, he flies into a rage and throws the blocks into the air. Your friend calms down the situation, but does not approve of the way you handle it. Shocked by your son’s inappropriate outburst, offer some well-meaning advice and share your discipline tactics.

Children with autism often do not respond to conventional methods of discipline. This mom deals with more than you can imagine and has probably tried every discipline tactic in the book. He is afraid to judge his actions. A warm smile and a quick change of subject will do wonders for her.

To all parents whose children have special needs, we praise and commend you! Your road is rocky, full of joys and challenges. To all others, we are grateful. Your love and support is immeasurable for parents and their children with special needs. Thank you for standing by his side.

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