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14 Years of Motherhood: 14 Things I’ve Learned
It’s hard to believe, but it’s been more than 14 years since my first born was placed in my arms. Fourteen years and seven children down the line has taught me many things. Of course, I’m still learning all the time, and I know I’ll be learning for decades to come. In fact, you could say it’s one of the first things I learned:
1. Nothing has taught me more about myself, my strengths and weaknesses, than being a mother. There is no job as self-revealing and humbling as motherhood. And in this 24-hour occupation, it is often the children who you find the most difficult who teach you the most. If you pay close attention to what makes them tick and what turns you off about them, you’ll discover the most valuable lessons about yourself you’ll ever learn.
2. My children’s journey from childhood to adolescence is also a journey for me. As I guide them through life’s paths and watch them grow, I find myself growing right along with them.
3. Watching my son grow up is more enjoyable than growing up myself. I can remember much more of his process than my own. After all, I can’t remember my birth well, but as an adult, I can remember every detail of my child from the first moment they entered this world. In addition – as an adult – I saw everything from a completely different perspective.
4. The longer I’m in this business, the more fun it gets. Sure, it is even more complex, more demanding, and often more guilty. But if you’re open to growing and learning about yourself and others, you’ll naturally become more flexible and less overwhelmed—two very valuable life skills. I can laugh a lot more now than I could years ago – at myself and at the typical situations parents find ourselves in. I can stop in the middle of the action and pretend I’m a camera, zooming in on the moment, and just enjoy it.
5. There is no greater pleasure in life than seeing the work of your child’s mind. How amazing, how rewarding, and how wonderful to watch your child put this puzzle together, your preschooler recognize the letters, your school-age child take the initiative and complete an independent project. When I know that my children are not just spitting out information, but that they can learn and apply this knowledge in other situations, my smile could not be wider.
6. When my children grow up, helping hands multiply. As a young mother of very young children, I could never have imagined how much easier it would be when it wasn’t just me. I will never forget the first time my oldest was old enough to hold the baby while I put the others to bed. I completely forgot how amazing it is that other people can go to the grocery store, and that every baker doesn’t have to leave the house and take everyone with me on every errand. I have to say how blessed I am to find the dishes washed, the laundry folded or an older brother who surprises me and prepares the younger children for bed. And no, that doesn’t mean you’ve taken advantage of them. It is good for children to help; it teaches them so many life skills and makes them feel so valuable. If you are afraid of exaggerating, always keep in mind that you are not here to serve, but that you are here to help you become balanced and useful members of society.
7. When children are young, it is difficult to imagine a day when they will become pleasant companions. Yes, it really is more pleasant to shop in supermarkets with the company, assistance and input of your ten year old. Plus i know the pleasure of having time with you becomes yours pleasure And it’s fun to drop everyone else and just focus on that kid and strip down a little bit.
8. I had to grow old and have older children to enjoy my younger children as I never could have from a point of view before. Younger children ask more physically, but they are much less complicated. I take pleasure in the simple things. Sometimes it’s much easier and much less draining to read aloud a picture book or build a block tower with your three-year-old than to discuss social issues with your twelve-year-old.
9. Experience is a wonderful thing. The more times I do something, the more familiar it becomes, and easier and less threatening. When you’ve been there before, you know it will pass; know that you and your son will be okay even though things are hard right now. You may be losing, you may feel like you can’t do this, but because you’ve done it so many, many times already, deep down there’s that voice that tells you to survive.
10. It is good to stop and observe my children as if they were a stranger – please only their beautiful faces, their intelligent speech, their talents, their usefulness, and even how they look in that dress cute Of course, I know that there is the other side: the earth, the disorder, the lamentation, the struggle and the complaint. But the more I focus on what is pleasant to see, the more I find, and the more pleasant everyday life becomes. I learned that happiness in life does not come from spectacular events, but from an accumulation of pleasant moments.
11. I have become grateful for so many “little” things. For the washing machines that clean those smelly and dirty clothes (even if I can’t deal with every stain), for the bedtime that flows according to the schedule and the silence that follows, for the sufficient food with which to feed the my children, for decent clothing. , For the ability to keep my family warm on cold nights and cool on broiling days, for healthy, developed children, for … Yes, the list does not continue. And what gratitude definitely makes for a happier life.
12. I have learned that eventually my children internalize a lot of what I tell them. Yes, they learn to flush the toilet and wash their hands afterwards, yes, they pick up dirty laundry, and yes, they learn not to stand on kitchen counters with their shoes on. They learn to behave gracefully in public places, to be nice to a younger sibling without anyone telling them, and to be sensitive to the outcasts in their class. Not always, not always, but it happens. If our relationship is basically solid and positive, my values will be transmitted.
13. Starting and maintaining relationships with my friends is good not only for me, but for the children. First of all, it keeps me healthy – which benefits the children. Whether it’s a five-minute emergency phone call to a friend when I’m feeling lost that gets me back on track, or reuniting with friends and their kids, a truly caring adult network makes all the difference . I also feel that it is good for my children to know that friends are a good thing, and that lifelong friendships are something they should aspire to. And as they and I get older, it’s healthy for them to know that they don’t need to be Mom’s friends; if he needs someone to lean on, it shouldn’t be them.
14. You don’t need all that attractive baby paraphernalia, all those toys that call you from the pages of the catalog and the shelves of toy stores, all the attractive, fashionable or even basic children’s clothes . Our world today is stuffed with stuff, and full of people selling you that stuff. Over the years, I have learned a lot about what to buy, when to buy, how much to buy, and often just not to buy at all. If I wait and see, I know I’ll probably manage just fine without it and save myself the cost and storage of items that seem so necessary but are hardly ever used.
So here is my list – for now. I wonder what it will look like once we move deeper into young adulthood and beyond…
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