How To Put 3 Month Old To Sleep In Crib How Can I Start a New Routine For My Baby, Toddler Without Any Crying?

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How Can I Start a New Routine For My Baby, Toddler Without Any Crying?

I often get phone calls from sleep-deprived parents asking for my help, explaining the routine they currently use and what they want to achieve with the new routine and then adding…”But, I don’t want to cry… . my husband and I don’t get along.”

I completely understand this question and my goal is to empower parents with the skills to improve their routine of babies / children without crying or distress and sometimes this happens at the first sleep, but sometimes it is not possible. In the case of the newborn until the age of about 3 months, we are often “refining” the routine with efficient uptime times, idle times and the room environment and basically they look at us and say “thank God , someone knew what I needed!” and went to sleep without a murmur.

In other cases, the child needs a few days to settle into the new routine, respond to new cues and learn to self-settle in his bed. We need to remember that the child is intelligent and only responded to the cues and regular routines that you started from birth. What you did was “work” for everyone until now and while we have valid reasons to change the child’s routine he does not know that we have to change something and so sometimes they have to protest!

Case study: The child about 4-6 weeks.

He presents as very unsettled during the day and night, 20-45 minutes of sleep a day, often sleeping only on his mother’s chest or in someone’s arms, in a sling or in bed with his mother and father. Refusing to sleep in the cot / bassinette, the mother feels stuck at home because the child does not sleep in a stroller. The child is not feeding very well, it is very fussy and is particularly restless after feeding, it usually feeds better when sleeping. Mom and dad suspect reflux or colic. The parents tried the mannequin with limited success, the child is wrapped for all sleeps, but comes out of it often.

Goals for the child:

Relaxed feeding, enjoys playtime, provides obvious proven signs, appreciates sleep cues, calms down to go to bed and settles down to sleep. Meets personal sleep requirement and wakes up happy and hungry for the next feed and ready to play again……

Plan:

We look at the bedroom environment, make feeding and playtime more efficient, remove the props that prevent self-settlement, identify the signs of tiredness of the child and when the child is ready for bed, tune the wrapping technique and providing the baby with new cues to sleep. .

Potential Results:

* Once in bed, the baby may start crying/talking like a “roller coaster” for a few minutes. A cry is a noise that you feel comfortable and they feel like they settle by themselves, the mother and the father feel happy to stay out of the room because the child is not angry and the cry has become progressively more quiet A short time later the child is quiet and asleep. The child ends up sleeping for 2 hours without waking up because they are comfortable and their environment encourages restful sleep.

* Once in bed, the child instantly recognizes that the sleeping environment is different and begins to cry and protest asking for the usual routine to go to sleep. This is completely normal for the child to cry and ask for help, they do not know how to do it themselves and they have been relying on you for help. The goal is for the baby to settle down on its own, so we can’t allow the baby to sleep, we just need to calm them down and show them that they can sleep. The baby who needs help with self-settlement will usually wake up at the 40-45 minute mark and need a little more settling from mom and dad to go back to sleep and for another sleep cycle of 40-45 minutes. More than about a week, with consistency and persistence from mom and dad, the baby will learn how to settle down without our help. The ability to self-settle will allow the child to sleep through the night when they are ready for development.

Case study: 9 months.

Present as he enjoys the feeding of milk, usually feeding to sleep. He started out solid but not always eating well. Mainly fruits and vegetables, cereals and pasta, rice. Rolling on the floor, not crawling yet, but standing up in the lounge room and in the cot. He started hitting on the floor, so he was offered extra time on swings, walks, jolly jumper or is carried a lot. Get out of the wrapping in the bed and lie down in the crib. He begins to go to sleep in his crib, but wakes up often screaming at mom and dad until the dummy is returned, fed, or taken to his bed. If you sleep in the crib all night you are awake at 5-6 am and you want to get up and start the day.

Goals for the child:

Baby enjoys family meals with finger food in a high chair, has an age-appropriate amount of milk, crawls and explores the house getting a good night’s sleep, settles down to sleep in the cot, sleeps quietly all night and wakes up around 7 am for breakfast. ..

Plan:

Look at the room environment, encourage appropriate play in the plan. Increase the amount of protein in the diet and discuss the time of mutual agreement for milk feeding. Introduce a sleeping bag, Encourage self-settlement in the cot without the dummy, discourage entry into the bed of mother and father, reduce the “reward for waking up”.

Result:

Once in bed, the child will protest by crying or even screaming. After 9 months of previous habits and sleeping routines everything has changed and the child is not happy, they know exactly what they want! It is very important to recognize this and provide a “practical” reassurance with the child, with consistency and persistence. The child relies on your consistency and persistence to “believe” that the routine has changed at bedtime and has not returned to the old one.

If the new routines have been tried without success for a few days and they go back to the old habits, the child will scream every time something new is tried, because the screaming made you change last time! It is also important to be consistent with the day and night of sleep and not confuse the child with different routines. We don’t hurt the child, we just change the rules and the only way the child knows how to communicate this with you is to cry or scream, which usually gets them what they want. Older kids can just say “I want my dummy back!” or “I don’t want to go to sleep!” but your child cannot say these things.

I want mom and dad to respond to the child whenever the child is upset and provide a “practical” solution until the child is calm. So they need to learn to listen to interpret the comforting noises that are whining or self-stabilizing when the child is not upset. On average, the child will take an average of 30 minutes to self-settle to sleep the first time and usually need a bit of recovery at the mark of 40-45 minutes in the first 3-7 days, until the child learns to do it himself.

When the baby learns to sleep on his own, he will be able to sleep during the day and at night! Every day, the mother and father will gain confidence and will see the child take less time to self-settle to sleep and enjoy sleeping longer.

Tip: Every child is a smart little human. We need to respect this and not wait for them to roll over and agree to go to sleep with a new routine the first time with crying or protest! We need to gently reassure them and help them feel comfortable to sleep.

(C) 2008 Natalie Ebrill All rights reserved worldwide.

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