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Tweaking Your Nervous System

Here’s the problem: A nervous system that goes out of balance and drags through life always leads to illness after illness, after a miserable old age, full of medical visits and many prescriptions – and, finally, the final curtain.

Why not avoid a lot of misery and trouble? Most of what medicine calls aging is the result of problems of the nervous system, which can be reversed. So let’s talk about some small tweaks that give the nerves a happy boost.

1. Get good nutrition, either in your diet or in a program of supplements suitable to do what your body needs to do. Unfortunately, the facts about what constitutes good nutrition seem to be in the witness protection program, and almost no one knows how to do it. Many of us think what to do, but no; we need to learn a better way.

Don’t take advice from programs like “The Biggest Loser.” Their off-track diet advice promotes bad health, not good health. Trainers vigorously do their best in what they have been taught, fully convinced that it is good information, but they are wrong. Really wrong.

2. Breathe deeply – and correctly. We all know how to breathe, of course, but most of us take shallow breaths, while tweaking the nervous system takes deep, slow, rib-cage expanding breaths.

In addition to helping the nerves, this deep breathing technique calms the body. Why spend the night being a whirling dervish instead of sleeping? Focusing on the breathing technique prevents your brain from jumping from one topic to another, which also helps.

3. Get cold once, or maybe several times, a day. Drink cold water. Place a wet, ice-cold cloth on your face for several seconds. To make the most of this cold business, take cold showers. Freezing in the shower is taking things a little too far in my mind, but you might like it.

4. Sleep (or lie down) on your right side. This increases the variability of your heart rate and tweaks the king of the nervous system, the vagus nerve.

5. Sing! The stronger the better. And singing in a group, whether in a choir, hymns in church, or enthusiastic pep songs, helps even more.

6. Gargle as often as possible. Do not drink a glass of water without gargling.

7. Chew gum. Unfortunately, sugar-free gum contains aspartame, which affects your nervous system, and regular chewing gum includes high-fructose corn syrup, which is hard on many parts of the body. Some people enjoy chewing gum sweetened with xylitol, but it’s instant diarrhea for some people. So this is a complicated business. But it’s worth the effort to get something that works.

8. Laugh! The harder you laugh, the better it is. More than just putting you in a happy mood, though, it’s about all the muscles that laughter relaxes and shakes. YouTube.com has thousands of comedy clips in various categories. It could probably take a year to look at all the possibilities that come up when you search for “clean comedy.” Personally, watching Tim Conway’s dentist and elephant routine does the trick for me, no matter how many times I watch them.

9. Pet a dog, play with a child or hug someone. This helps your body release oxytocin, your I-love-the-world hormone.

10. Pray and meditate to soften things up. Prayer and meditation actually create physical changes in our bodies, but it is not a matter of doing it from memory. If you are mad at the world when you start and still mad at the world when you stop, it won’t work. Maybe you need more practice.

11. Finally, coughing also moves the muscles that benefit the nervous system.

So there you have eleven tweaks for your nervous system. (I left out a “helpful” tip about getting an injection in the brain that “might” work. Huh!)

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