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Mindful Parenting Tips – Back Talk – How To Get Your Sweet Child Back

A parent came to me with her problems about her child talking backwards…” My sweet 12 year old is gradually turning into a disrespectful talking child.

It had never been like this! He’s a pretty happy well-adjusted kid. He does very well at school and has a lot of friends, so I’m not sure where this is coming from.

Yesterday my son told me “Stop yelling at me with your eyes!” I think you can see my frustration with him! On top of that, I also have an 8-year-old son who copies his brother’s every move. Can you help me curb my son’s bad attitude and unpleasant ways?”

Children, no matter what their age, learn their social behavior, not from the group they are in, but from how their parents treat them. So the first step is to look at how adults have treated others, own and repair the parts that need it. Then apologize to your child for setting a bad example and ask for another try.

Second look at your relationship with your child. Back talking and bad attitudes are often a response to parents who are over protective or demanding. Try to let him have the last word. He invites cooperation by asking what needs to be done, instead of telling him what needs to happen.

Explore what is going on for him emotionally by having friendly conversations at neutral times. Open the discussion with “Could it be ___?” questions

For example, ask: “Could it be that you are angry with me because I am trying to boss you around?” or “Could it be that you are frustrated with me because I am disappointed in you a lot of the time?” Try to restore trust and bond between you.

Children at the age of 12 and 13 years recycle the stage they passed around 3 years. To separate from you the parent, they begin to assert.

Part of this affirmation comes in the role of breaking family rules; it’s all part of the development cycle they’re in. They argue, annoy and disagree. They make mistakes to find out what works as they develop their sense of being.

They literally need to throw away the relationships that have helped them grow to this point and re-establish themselves from an independent position.

Am I famous?

The key will be to step back and let him have the space he needs to discover himself AND establish a new and different relationship with the person he is becoming while continuing to love and support him when he returns to the nest for reassurance. and connection, which at this age will happen often.

In a nutshell: Make sure the message of love gets through. Become a sounding board instead of an authority figure. Work out your frustrations in a supportive environment away from him. Clear your agendas and methods in your relationships.

Take a deep breath and enjoy the ride, this too shall pass.

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