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Domestic Violence: Nigerian Igbo Men Beat Their Wives All the Time
In the kitchen where she had gone to whip up some fried rice to feed her five children, the monster turned husband ambushed her with a single punch to the back of the head.
“Don’t bite me, please,” begged the wife, “and what did I do to you that you hit me so hard and so many times?”
Angered both by his request for an explanation and his request for mercy, the monster hit the woman again in the left eye, and in the nose. He pointed to his teeth and hit it on his lip.
Red blood flowed from the woman’s nose and mouth and spattered all over the concrete floor, next to the edge of the kitchen cabinet.
Apart from shielding her face with her elbows and arms, she was defenseless against the monster’s cruelty.
With the back of her right hand, the woman began to wipe the blood coming from her nose. Doing so exposed his cheek, and “the monster”, the woman later said, “slapped me with the speed of the devil, seven times on the right cheek and three times on the left”.
The last blow had such force that it knocked her off balance and she fell. He quickly got up from the floor and leaned his back against the closed kitchen door. For her children, it was hard until the end, when she suddenly broke down and started screaming. His cries attracted the attention of children.
“Close the door quickly,” said the three-year-old boy, the youngest of the children.
‘What’s wrong?’ asked the seven-year-old boy.
“Dad punches and beats mom again,” replied the oldest of the five.
Silence fell on the children, an indicator to the mother that they were aware of the commotion. ‘Oh! My children! Oh, my five hungry children, I cry.
On top of the kerosene stove, resting on the low kitchen cabinet, was a thin kitchen knife. The woman thought to catch it and apply it on the monster’s throat, but it could not be done.
Sensing his vulnerability if his wife summoned enough courage to take the knife, the monster decided to end it. He hit her with his shoe feet in the abdomen and chest, forcing her to bend down, crouching near the kitchen door.
Satisfied that the woman was beaten to the point where she had no mind and no physical strength, the monster came out of the kitchen, his voice menacing as he walked away, “Tell someone, tell your family, tell your mother, tell your friends, or your sisters, and not only will I ridicule them, but I will beat you some more and throw you out of my house.
Despite the warning from the monster, this time the woman was brave enough to report the repeated abuse. He had enough. Once the abuse was out in the open, the devil fled; persecuted, not by the authorities since none exists, but by his inner demons.
The police were called in the past to handcuff an Igbo man who had brutally beaten his wife with his left fist, only for them to laugh and leave, saying: “This is not a police matter” .
A parishioner was called to reprimand and condemn to hell an Igbo man who gave his wife two black eyes, only for him to say: “You know, when you get married, you get married for better or worse, death included”.
You would be wrong to think that the court of justice will differ from the police and the priest. A judge, in all cases, laughed aloud, stroked his beard, and declared, “It is a family affair, my young friend; go home and settle down with your husband.
Families of abused women, who should be the last resort of protection, often throw up their hands in defeat, and demand that the women go back and cook better food for their monsters.
This current culture of “looking the other way”, has allowed wife assault to run rampant among Nigerian Igbos. In the days when Igbo men had courage, however, my uncle Karl had to send my cousin CKG to mangle an in-law who had assaulted my niece.
If an Igbo man beats his wife in any civilized country, he goes to prison, where he is beaten by real men; So why should a fat scumbag in Nigeria who beats his wife not be thrown in jail, where at least he will learn the true meaning of life?
I could still postulate why a man, an Igbo man, could hit any woman twenty times in the face, lips and nose, and not even stop to think about his actions when he draws the first drop of blood, or by the time. two teeth fell out of his mouth.
Frustration, some say, is the real reason Nigerian Igbos beat their wives every day: Frustrations that emanate from poverty, frustrations that emanate from personal failures, frustrations from unfulfilled expectations, frustrations from a ballooned belly, bad breath , bad teeth and impotence.
Others think that Igbo wife beating would not exist if young Igbo men had a little more education. Boats of wives are half-educated, they say.
As such, it never hit me that life is not a bed of roses. It is no surprise, therefore, that whenever they step on the back of married life they go crazy. If they had been educated, they would understand that Igbo women have strong opinions, and trying to suppress them is like trying to suppress a growing pregnancy.
For clarity, let me note that not all Igbo men assault their wives. There are Igbo men, poor and rich, educated and uneducated, who are of impeccable character. They would never lay hands on their wives nor tolerate any man who hurts their dear daughters, their beautiful sisters and their wonderful mothers.
But, you know, as the Igbo proverb says: “When the oil wipes one finger, the rest of the fingers are impure.”
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