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How To Deal With Unexcited Parents
Becoming parents is normally greeted with much happiness and excitement. It is a time of joy, anticipation and accomplishment. Even movie stars, whose marriages are famous for their brevity, wear their “bumps” as a badge of honor. Kate Middleton’s pregnancy had the royal family smiling and the media drooling over such a newsworthy event.
But Andrew and Penny Stanway who did a study a few years ago, say in their essay “Choices on Childbirth” that 40% of women have mixed feelings about their pregnancy and 10% are positively shocked. 70% of mothers are indifferent to their babies at birth, and four out of five feel that the image of motherhood is romanticized.
Some Attitudes that cause a lack of excitement in parents:-
• The first cause is the fear of the unknown. Mothers, relatives and friends exaggerate their own experience of childbirth, the complications that may arise, and even the possibility of death. This gives the expectant mother a distorted image of the child as if it were a dangerous disease to be feared. Susan Arms in her book “Immaculate Deception” says that women are tricked into believing in “risk-free” birth. Even the Bible refers to pain in childbirth as a curse for Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden.
• I fear that the child may be abnormal or suffer from various disabilities.
• Doubts about the competence or maturity to be parents.
• Fear of increased responsibility. This shows a measure of selfishness, as raising children takes time and is a full-time job.
• Loss of freedom. Children are seen as an imposition or a nuisance that require changes in lifestyle and changes in relationships especially with the husband, due to lack of time.
• If the child is conceived as a result of rape or a loveless relationship, the woman develops a subconscious resentment against the child growing in her womb.
• Lack of spousal or family support robs a woman of the child’s excitement. Single mothers are about 10-15% of all pregnant women. Not everyone is happy with their pregnancy. It can also be financial concerns.
• Loss of beauty. During the different stages of pregnancy, the woman loses her shapely figure. His weight increases, his legs swell, his blood pressure may rise. In the first months, it may be accompanied by vomiting. The excessive pigmentation of their skin, especially on the face, makes them feel ugly.
How to deal with unexcited parents:-
1. Education: The purpose of education is to obtain accurate information about the anatomy, physiology and functions of the body during pregnancy and childbirth; to dispel myths, superstitions and “old wives’ tales” about pregnancy. God has conferred an amazing honor on women, making them co-creators with him to bring life into this world. This compensates for all the difficulties and discomfort during pregnancy.
2. Encouragement: Young couples must develop a positive attitude towards pregnancy. Conflicts in relationships between spouses must be resolved before considering pregnancy. If the relationship is on rocky ground, pregnancy can only stress you out. It is important for the husband and wife to be involved in the well-being of the unborn child. The husband has the obligation to support his wife. Fatherhood requires maturity, loyalty to each other and readiness to make adjustments whenever necessary.
3. Enthusiasm: Parenting is God’s gift to couples. It increases the quality of their life. The excitement and anticipation of a new addition to the family must be sustained until pregnancy. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “This time like all time is very good, if we know what to do with it.” Spouses should embrace each other emotionally. They should cultivate inner strength and stability by trusting in God, who gives life.
“Children are a heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is their reward.” Psalm 127:3
Kate Wiggins, a mother says “Every child is a new thought of God, an ever fresh and radiant possibility.”
The work of parenting is a challenge to be accepted and a responsibility to be enjoyed. It is an opportunity to grow and mature emotionally. Happy couples make happy parents. There is every reason to be excited.
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