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Handling Irresponsible Siblings

My sister has been there all her life. He takes no responsibility for his heinous actions and constantly blames others for his actions. Our mother had a stroke in 2006. She refused to take care of our mother until now. My uncles take care of our mother because they are also working. I can’t help feeling resentful towards her for her lack of concern and caring personality. She even abandons her children for her own selfish satisfaction.

Since there are only two of us, basically, I am still the one who takes care of our family despite having a family of my own. I can’t seem to wrap my mind around the hatred my sister feels towards me and the lies she has told to control others. She wants to get sympathy from other people by blaming me. Last year, she almost died of suffocation because the baby in her womb died for three days and she did nothing to solve the problem. I was called by my family and asked what I can do to help his seemingly unstoppable bleeding. The first reaction was anger because she didn’t take care of herself even though she was pregnant. So I gave him money for his check. The result of her ultrasound examination showed that her bleeding was caused by a failed abortion. She needed an operation to put the dead fetus in her womb, otherwise she might die from bleeding.

Fortunately, he survived without undergoing an operation. The baby was removed from her womb due to the induced procedure. When she left the hospital, I advised her to be careful and consider the consequences of her actions. Because she and her husband were not on good terms, she left her children in the care of her husband and found a job as a waitress of a barbecue house. Only a month later, she was impregnated by her partner, a young man of 23 years, while she was already 37 years old. I swore that I will not help him anymore because I cannot tolerate such irresponsible behavior.

I really don’t know what’s coming to her. Now his belly is already 8 months. She asks for money from me for her ultrasounds and health care. Her so called boyfriend left her a month ago. Now she is left alone with the burden of responsibility of raising the child and the possibility of facing accusations of adultery from her legal husband.

Are you to blame for your circumstance?

When she needs me, I’m always there for her. But she doesn’t listen to her family. He thinks that his family is bad and an obstacle to his happiness. Now, I am facing a bigger problem – where to get money for its delivery next month. He has not a penny prepared. Her peers think I’m a bad sister when in fact she is. She never appreciates the good things you do for her. I don’t even know how to say thank you for your efforts.

He does nothing productive in his life. He doesn’t care about his children. She already has 3 children. Now that she is pregnant, what would she do 4. She makes excuses and blames others for her situation. He blames me for not having a tubal ligation so I don’t get pregnant anymore. She acts like a victim and takes no responsibility for the cause of her situation. She sees me as the manipulative and abusive sister, even though it’s the other way around. She also threatens me to end everything because there is nothing left to live for.

I let him make his own choices. I never told him what to do. But often, he explained to them what their choices could lead to. But now I realize that she needs slaps for acting like a fool and doing something completely stupid that will hurt others, especially her children and herself. He needs a little shake to bring him back to reality.

I can’t always be there for her because I have my kids too. But one thing is certain, she can count on me in times of need.

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