How To Teach A 3 Year Old Child To Speak How to Be a Positive Grief Model for a Child

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How to Be a Positive Grief Model for a Child

Much of our behavior in adult life is based on the examples we were exposed to as children. Many of these examples were supported with warnings, directions and information that were presented as “truth”, or the way it really is. This information becomes taught on the walls of our mind.

In a more subtle way, we usually learn about death, dying and pain more by watching what others do and less by what they say. Unfortunately, this happens because adults say less about these subjects and try not to show their true feelings around children. Therefore, children are educated about death by television, songs, the silence of adults and movies in a second class.

How can we break the cycle? Learn to be positive adult grief models. Here’s how to get started.

1. Examine the beliefs about death that have been passed down to you. Do what you learned from your first experience with death. They were taught that crying is a sign of weakness, that death is always bad, that the less we talk about death, the better, that we need to find closure and leave the dead, that children should never go to a wake or funeral, or should you just mourn in private?

Work towards changing these beliefs to help you adapt to the many experiences of loss that are a part of every life. It might mean working to change the way you view a death experience you had as a child. Seek input from experienced professionals if some of your past experiences are still causing you a lot of anxiety.

2. Next collect some information from your local hospice, church, library, or grief support group, written by an authority, which recommends ways to see death and grief based on research and the latest suggested practices. Familiarize yourself with them so that you can answer some of the basic questions that children often ask (like what is death?). Also, consider attending a public lecture about death or grief or consulting grief websites for an update.

3. When teaching, talk with your children about death, the importance of expressing emotions, and the damage caused by suppression. Do this before there is a death in the family and all the emotions surface. Emphasize that crying is not a female or male response, it is a normal human response. And then, most importantly, don’t feel bad about letting your kids see you cry, especially if you’re a boy. Emphasize that crying is coping.

4. Start talking about death, when the subject naturally comes up, in a tone and way that treats the topic as a part of life – not outside of life. It is an integral part of our existence and has a lot to teach us about the quality of life that we should strive to live. It is often argued that the quality of life is affected by the awareness of death. Use the words dead and dying, not euphemisms like lost, dead, asleep, or expired.

5. It teaches that even though all die, love never dies. We will always remember and love the person who dies. We can still have a relationship with him/her based on memory, tradition and celebration of a life that has been lived. He/she will always be alive in our hearts.

6. Allow children to go to the funeral and visit the cemetery from seven years (from three years, sometimes younger, if the death is a parent). Always invite, never force participation. Again, if visits can be made before death, it can be very helpful. Always prepare the child for what he sees. Explain who will be there, where the deceased will be, and that the funeral is the place where you can say goodbye to the person who died. In the visit to the cemetery, explain the purpose of the tombstones and the burial, and what the cemetery will be.

7. Always remember that death is another opportunity in which family members can come together, help each other, express love and care, and teach children the value of community. Make every effort, as difficult as it may be, not to exclude children from these important family events. A great parent-child trust can be generated. They can learn that everyone grieves differently and learn that children grieve sporadically, and they cannot sustain our adult form of grief.

In summary, the more you can guide children and be sensitive to their need to be recognized as a meaningful mourner, the more you will be prepared for healthy ways of seeing grief and death. They still need a lot of guidance on things like what death is, how to deal with their secondary losses, what makes them feel the presence of the deceased, and how the death of a loved one changes the environment. and the survivors.

This means, of course, that we all need to become more knowledgeable about these problems and how to talk to children about them. Therefore, solve your death problems first, learn what children need to know, and then wait for the opportunity to calmly introduce the topic. You will help children on an emotional level more than you could ever imagine.

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