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Body Hating – Who’s That Fat, Ugly Woman in the Mirror?
Are you a woman struggling with fat and ugly self-image? As swimsuit season approaches, would you rather die than endure your thighs? Locked in a clinch with your lover, is “Lights off, Honey” your mantra? This may mean that you are really uncomfortable with your body. You are not alone. Many women struggle with a negative body image. Because there are many girls unhappy with their body, the diet industry is getting fatter, earning more than $60B/year. That’s because diet organizations make money when they succeed in making you feel fat and insecure. When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see? Research shows that nearly 4 out of 5 American women today say they hate their bodies. That’s 80% of the female population in the entire United States. Are you one of them?
Because you can’t see who you really are
The truth is that we don’t really see ourselves and our bodies as we are, or even as others see us, because we only see our interpretation of reality, not what it really is, because we don’t we are unable to objectively observe ourselves. Our perceptions are colored or filtered by our experiences. If your family was a blue family, you were given “blue glasses”. If your family and your experiences are of being a part of a bunch of roses, you look at the world through “rose colored glasses”. We are all different depending on how our experiences have shaped us. Our brain always gives meaning to everything we experience. The important thing to keep in mind is that it doesn’t matter what color glass you had the world through; it’s just a starting point. There is no need to remain attached to these faulty perceptions. It may be time for an update.
Self Image: The mirror in your mind
Inside each of us we have the equivalent of a huge computer that stores all the experiences of our life, in your memory. This is known as the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is not an actual part of your brain, rather it is said to be present in every cell in your body. This database within you contains a collection of beliefs and experience that is known as your self-image. Determine how you feel about who you are, your body, your life and everything you believe is possible. To be happy, truly happy and to live a satisfying life, you have to have an adequate and realistic image of yourself with which you can live in harmony. You have to be good enough for yourself. This will give you a good strong sense of self-esteem. This is an image of yourself that you can trust and believe, like and admire, respect and honor.
When your self-image is intact, you feel good and you are a confident person. When something happens to shake or threaten you, you become insecure. If you have been abused or hurt, criticized or mocked, you can also feel the impact of that emotional pain, depending on the meaning you have given the experience, you can tend to feel shame and find your light hidden. It’s just because it feels like the safest option for you. If you are caught in a body trap, hating a part of you, it is because you believe that you are this negative, shameful, disgusting, unworthy, fat, ugly, stupid or incapable image that you can hold of yourself. It’s not true!
And unless you are truly able to see yourself differently, no diet, no exercise, no amount of compliments or anything else will make you believe something that part of you is not ready to believe. To change these negative core beliefs that limit you, and feel different about your body, without doing anything radical like cosmetic surgery or diet, you have to change the image you have of yourself. The good news is that this self-image or subconscious mind is completely impersonal and impartial to the information it contains. So if you don’t like the way you look or the way you feel about your body, all you have to do is guide your subconscious mind or self-image in a new direction.
Dr. Maxwell Maltz, plastic surgeon performs facelifts without a scalpel
This incredible discovery of the power of self-image and the scope of its influence is attributed to the work of one man, Dr. Maxwell Maltz. Maltz was a plastic surgeon in the 1960s. At 61, he wrote his first book called Psycho Cybernetics, which became a self-improvement phenomenon, selling more than 30 million copies to date. Today you cannot pick up a book or self-improvement program that is not based on his revolutionary discoveries that teach how to change a negative self-image. Maltz said: “The image of oneself is changed, for better or for worse, not only by the intellect, nor by intellectual knowledge, but by ‘experiencing’. You begin to be able to ‘see’ yourself doing things differently.
At the core, his ideas focus on visualizing your goals. It really is the secret behind “The Secret”. Here is the origin of how this all came about. Before he wrote Psycho Cybernetics, Dr. Maltz noticed that many times after a cosmetic procedure was successfully performed, his patients would continue to obsess over their imperfections that they had agreed to have already been properly corrected.
After examining several cases, he noticed a parallel. Each of those patients who felt that cosmetic surgery did nothing for them, had very low self-esteem. They felt that deep down there was nothing that could be done to correct their faults. One day Dr. Maltz had a brainstorm and realized that what they needed was a correction of perceptions. He made a deal with one of his clients named Jack, who was obsessed with his crooked nose. Dr. Maltz said he did not agree to operate on Jack again until Jack took an interim step. Dr. Maltz offers to teach Jack how to recreate his distorted self-image, using a visualization process. He explained that it will take 21 consecutive days to complete the process. After that time, if Jack was still dissatisfied, Dr. Maltz would perform the surgery.
At the end of 21 days, Jack was so happy with his nose that he didn’t even want surgery.
My experience of going from body loathing to body love: So many sighs about my big fat thighs
In my experience, before making the decision to stop the diet, I spent years obsessing about the size of my thighs. No matter what size I was, I swore I must have had the biggest thighs in the world. No amount of weight loss or exercise was enough to change my distorted perception of my body. When I finally decided to stop the diet, because I had the image of myself as a fat pig with no self-control around food, I lost all control, never seemed to stop eating and gained 35 pounds.
One day I was lying down looking at my fat in the mirror and I had an epiphany and realized that I had to accept myself and my thighs as they were or continue to live a crazy life hoping and praying that diet and exercise would fix them. would change . I knew I could never go on living under the tyranny of dieting again, so the alternative was to learn to love it now. Because I made that choice, now I’m sure that the problem was never the size of my thighs. It was all in my head. It was low self-esteem and poor self-image that I carried with me every day. They were those angry thoughts, those nasty, critical words that had been shouted at me as a child. Because those memories were so emotionally charged, every time I looked in the mirror or remembered something to do with how I felt about my body, those tapes were replayed in my mind and I became my worst critic. . That angry voice that had become mine was why I couldn’t stop eating. I knew I had to change the way I talked to myself and find some compassion and gentleness within. It started with the decision to stop the diet and a vow that I will learn to trust myself again.
Today now that I am no longer worried about following a diet or watching my weight, and I know that I can trust myself around any and all foods, I have more respect and appreciation for me as I am: Andrea, the person. Food is no longer my master and I am no longer its slave. As I continue to take steps to befriend and love my body at every size, I notice that it continues to shrink and get smaller. I’m not trying to lose weight. I just – and I did it in the least invasive way possible.
I love knowing that I can have cookies, chips, ice cream and pasta in my house and be surrounded by tons of goodies and not feel the urge to eat when I’m not hungry. I love having the sense of power that comes from being able to put a bag clip on my chips and put them back in the cupboard, knowing that I don’t want to keep eating them anymore and they will be there for later. And on the rarest and rarest occasions, when I eat a little more or more than my body wants, I know that it is not a cause to beat me, feel disgusted or blame because I have not done anything wrong. No forgiveness necessary.
When I overeat, it’s just an indication to me that something deeper is wrong. And by taking care of that, finding out what it is, handling those wounds, and treating myself in the most loving and kind way possible, the desire to abuse myself with food disappears. Let me tell you everything I’ve learned along the way. I am overwhelmed with the information I want to teach you. Let us help you get started on your way to embracing a new way of thinking without dieting so that you too can start loving your thighs or any other part of you at any size.
Here are some tips to help you make a fat and ugly image of yourself:
1. Look at the body that affirms the TV Television shows like Lifetime’s How to Look Good Naked are an instant mood lifter. Hosted by Carson Kressley, former co-host of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Carson focuses on helping women move from hating their bodies to loving them. I like to think of it as a 60 Minutes remake. With Carson at the helm, you’ll cry tears of laughter as you learn to see your body in a more loving and compassionate light.
2. Look for role models Find a woman who has the same body type as you, and is already doing what you want to do. If you hate your thighs and want to be able to feel comfortable going to the beach and wearing a bathing suit, find a woman who has already done this and ask her permission to ask a few questions. Tell her that you don’t feel comfortable, and you really want to understand how to think more like her so you can enjoy your body more. Ask if she is comfortable? What does she think when she is on the beach? What motivates her and many other questions you may have.
3. Get support Spend time around other women who are also committed to appreciating their bodies.
4. Study role models Read books about fit women like you who like their bodies. This is a less assertive way, but still an effective way to achieve the same goal of talking to another woman and asking her questions.
5. Stop Scale Watching Don’t let anyone or anything tell you how you have the right to feel. Step away from the ladder. Put it away or throw it away. Stop judging yourself for that ugly piece of metal.
Finally, and most importantly – You, you are not your thighs, butt, frizzy hair or sagging breasts or any other part of the body. You are much more than what you see. Start imagining yourself as you want to be, when you are the size you choose, and rather than focusing on dieting, eating less, or doing anything to make that happen, just do the things you would do if you it was that girl. . You go Juicy Woman! I believe in you! Did you?
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