How To Teach My 3 Year Old To Make Friends 3 Easy Ways to Change Your Child’s Behavior

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3 Easy Ways to Change Your Child’s Behavior

If your child does not behave the way you want, you need to change the way you deal with problems. It simply doesn’t work to keep using the same parenting techniques. If they don’t work, they don’t. Here are three easy things you can do to make your child want to do what you ask.

1. Negotiate

The idea of ​​negotiating with their children is an idea that many parents cannot grasp. In our parenting class, we often meet with a flat rejection at first. “I am the parent. I do not negotiate. My children need to follow my rules.”

Negotiating, you will show your child that you are open to his point of view. Show that you respect them and that you care about how they feel. It opens many new lines of communication between parents and children. And, if it’s handled right, both parties walk away happy.

Your child will respect you more if you are willing to listen to how they feel. By negotiating with your child, they know that their feelings are validated and that you care about how they feel. He won’t have to win every negotiation – and neither will you.

When you negotiate, keep in mind that the first time you put your baby down, the negotiations will be over. Your child will not be interested in continuing a conversation in which you make yourself feel bad.

A woman in our parenting class tried to negotiate with her 12-year-old daughter about a new dress for her first dance. The daughter was on a long dress. Mom wanted her to choose a dress that ended at mid-calf. During the negotiation, the mother said, “You know how clumsy you are. Go over that edge and fall flat on your face in front of all your friends. They’re going to have a real kick.” The daughter was used to putting them on. He had heard it all his life. She quietly chose the mid-calf dress just to finish the subject.

At our next parenting class, the mom mentioned that her daughter wasn’t much of a negotiator. The mother had tried to negotiate, but the daughter had refused. While they ended up buying the dress the mother wanted, the daughter was not happy with the decision.

Put down I am not part of any negotiation – or any conversation. If you get stuck putting your child. Stop. Excuse me. I’m really sorry. And go ahead.

Some topics you may want to start negotiating may include:

bed time

whether to take out the trash at night or in the morning

Friday night TV

curfew

Using negotiation not only shows your child that you respect him, but teaches him reasoning skills that will help him throughout life.

2. Good choice / Bad choice

All success and failure comes from the choices we make. Being able to think about our choices allows our children to make better choices more often – and accept the negative consequences of wrong choices. Once they realize that something bad happened because of a choice they made, they can move on to make a better choice to solve the problem or to avoid it completely next time. If they are not taught consequences, they will not learn to make good choices.

We had a parent in our parenting class who complained about the school taking her child. He failed English because he had forgotten to return several required documents. She had been to the school several times to talk to the teacher, but the teacher did not return. She asked how to help her son.

I told him, “Let it go.”

Good parents protect their children from serious harm. Good parents also stretch out and no longer “protect” so that their children learn the consequences. All children make bad choices as they grow up. When they have to deal with the consequences, they learn what choices they made to get into the mess and also learn to think about the choices. Your child will learn much faster to deal with their own choices than from all the preemptive preaching you can give them. Let them fail.

Once they fail, don’t say “I told you so”. I’m not kidding. Don’t tell them I’m on your own. Let them know you are there for them. Help them get back on track. Talk to them. sweetly point out that the consequence is a direct result of a choice they made. Help them learn to make good choices, but don’t belittle bad choices.

Your goal as a parent is to teach your child that life is better when they make good choices. Making a good choice is not always easy – but it always makes life better.

Some options that your child can start learning today:

You don’t finish your homework… you fail the class

Don’t take your toys…the dog might destroy them (or they may be thrown away)

Take your hands off the handlebars of your bike…you might fall off

Learn to offer your advice, and then step back and let the consequences teach your child. You can help your child make the right choice, but let him make the choice and deal with the good or bad result. Praise him when he makes a good choice – but never belittle him for making a bad choice.

3. No Ranting

Constant negative comments eat away at your child’s self-esteem. It never helps the child’s behavior. In fact, it often makes it worse.

Some parents think they need to point out every time their child misbehaves to teach the child what they are doing wrong. They end up with a child who is nervous and afraid to do anything so as not to disappoint his parents once again. Or worse, you end up with a child who acts out even more.

Instead of ranting, start looking for something they did well, and point it out.

Instead of “I told you to clean your room. Get in here and do it now!”

Try this: “Thanks for taking your toys from the living room. I love it when it looks nice.”

Instead of “Did you brush your teeth like I told you to? I’m tired of having to remind you.”

Try this: “I’m proud you got your pajamas on yourself.”

In both of these examples, we ignore the things we really want to do. But we build a foundation of confidence and self-esteem in our child. It doesn’t take long for our child to start looking for more ways to earn praise. Once they get a taste of how praise feels, they start doing things to get more praise.

Three easy things to change how your child acts. Easy for parents. Wonderful for children. Try it today.

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