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Autism and Aspergers – Hear a Sibling’s Perspective
Siblings of those with autism are somewhat typical. They have wisdom beyond their years. They have a real understanding of what it means to be different. They learned to compromise, negotiate and are the future social workers and great psychologists of our time.
We interviewed a nine-year-old boy about what it’s like to have a sibling with Asperger’s syndrome. His answers were profound and his clarity of the situation impressed us. Many parents with children on the autism spectrum are concerned about the impact that the disorder has on siblings. Adam Aviram, a young boy puts everything into perspective. He eloquently lets us know what it’s like to have a ten-year-old brother with Asperger’s syndrome.
Typical of Asperger’s, his brother Dean Aviram (10 years old) has a passion. He likes history. He probably knows more than most adults and enjoys in-depth conversations about world leaders and past events. Adam, on the other hand, likes football and playing the Wii in his spare time. When it comes to playing with his brother, he tells us that they like to share information. He proudly announced that he and his brother are working to build a time machine. This might not be a typical children’s game, but it doesn’t faze Adam. In fact, when asked how he thinks the couple might play differently if his brother didn’t have Asperger’s, he thought it would be so different, he couldn’t imagine.
Adam says that he and his brother are really good friends. When asked “What is one of the best things about Asperger’s?” don’t skip a beat. He doesn’t need to remember things because he knows his brother will. We agree that it should be quite convenient. When asked “What is something frustrating about Asperger syndrome?” he lets us know that his brother loves the computer, and it’s hard to stay away when Adam wants to have fun instead.
Ask an adult to describe Aspergers and you will probably get a detailed explanation, or maybe a technique. But Adam Aviram, with his 9 years of wisdom, just tells it like it is. “Aspergers is a type of autism and it is difficult for people to have good conversations with others.” We certainly can’t argue with that!
When asked if she thinks her friends notice anything different about her brother, she says “Yes.” But it doesn’t bother them and they don’t ask for details. They are however curious to know why Adam likes to be with children on the autism spectrum during the school lunch. That’s when he explains that he helps people, and that he is interested because his brother has Asperger’s syndrome. Like many children with siblings on the autism spectrum, Adam goes above and beyond. He proves that he is not only an excellent brother, but an advocate for those with autism, and perhaps a pioneer of our times.
Parents are concerned about family dynamics and the responsibility a child should take when their sibling has autism. However, they can advise that the brothers are resilient, open-minded and accept the situation as it is.
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