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The Quadfathers’ Daily Devotional for Domestic Dads
So much has changed in the forty plus years that I can count. Things that were once unheard of are now things of everyday life. The TVs have color and I have children. They ride in an SUV watching DVDs on the LCD TV with IF wireless headphones while listening to cable TV. Did I mention cable TV? Well, they watch as I listen to my favorite cable TV station on my satellite radio that won’t fade as we spread out about our busy family in the woods and back roads of our Blue Ridge mountain home.
I often wonder how my dear old snuff dipping; hat that Fratelli Nonna wore would relate to our life in the 21st century. I especially wonder what he thought of the Quads. Did I mention we have a set of Quads? Sometimes I get a little lost in all the confusion and repeat myself. Yes, we have two wonderful daughters currently aged 12 and 9 and a set of 3 year old Quadruplets.
Our family does not fit your average demographic by almost any measure you use. Of course we have six children in three pregnancies. My wife besides being a gold medal mother is also a very successful entrepreneur. All of this led me to being a stay-at-home dad to six. None of which were on our list of goals when we did our pre-marriage counseling. If you ask me, I prefer the title “Quadfather”. How Granny would deal with all this interests me because of the various strange reactions and comments I have encountered from others over the last few years. Granny would be heartened to find that we stuck close to Faith. Not the faith of the Friars, but more of the Inter-denomination, new Apostolic-Reformation, you do not need a suit and tie, beard or cap, Christianity full of Spirit. Then again this and our African-American Shepherd could do more to catch his swim in the 18th century boat than all the other changes combined.
Yes things have changed. I feel lucky to have been born deep enough in 1900 to have seen the old ways and the old ways. Yet to be young enough to be on the shoulder in the formative and most unique era of my son.
I will never forget my Grandmother forcefully asserting that the first Moon Walks were staged in Hollywood when she was formative and the 69 mustang was a new ride. Nor will I forget the times she lost herself in the titanic struggle of good and evil found on TV Wrasslin and insisted with equal ferocity that these events were real and important to our personal sanctity and the national welfare.
Maybe Granny had a hard time with the changing times around her, but I know she had a firm grasp on real things, the serious truth and the importance of God and Family and the need to make them the priority and hold together.
Grandma was a constant blessing in my life. By the time I was fourteen, my mother had two divorces and a nervous breakdown. About 40% of my growing up was done in a single mom home with Granny at home. My other grandmother was similarly raising many of her grandchildren. Both were widowed before they could walk and I never had a close or long father/son relationship during this period. I think that in many unfortunate ways our family was ahead of our times. But Granny hung in there, trying to convey to me these two important fundamental truths along with other insights that today are ironic reminders about herbs and roots, phases of the moon, plantations and the struggle to purge evil from our shores through TV . Wrasslin.
I would love to see Granny’s reaction to many of the technological and unique dynamics of our time and special family. I can’t help but believe that she sees and understands how the two most serious truths are very much part of the fabric of this family. I know what matters. They are the tradition that we have embraced and will not lose.
It was these same unusual challenges and twists that the Lord saw fit to inject into our lives that served most to remind us of what we had missed. confusion and isolation of a broken, mixed and rediscovered childhood. In this process and between many long nights and endless diaper changes, I had the opportunity to be the kind of father I never had.
By choosing to be a father on an unprecedented scale, I found a loving and benevolent Father who brings healing and restoration that I had not realized was needed in my life. Even some may think that we are out of order or even pity. As everyone seems to see, they are commitments and expenses that lower their lifestyles, limit their leisure opportunities and challenge their perceptions of Christian family life. I believe that I saw the miraculous and that I heard the beating of the solid heart of the Father in two things, priority and in order, God and Family. Not roles or religion, vicarious compliance, expectations of tradition or self-fulfillment and satisfaction. All of which seem to haunt many of my generation as we become “Parents”.
This series, if it ever sees the light of day, is my prayerful effort to share in this parenting world of broken, blended, re-broken, lonely and hurting families the healing, purpose and encouragement that the seasons can bring they seem hard and dark, but they change. , and that we can find our greatest insight and understanding of God’s direction and faithfulness that change us and impacting for us in the lives of the children who follow after us. In our hard seasons walked while going towards their appointments with the adult destiny next to us, we miss a lot that we can never recover if our focus is on ourselves, the hard ships or on what or how they do the others or a neurotic sense of perfection. and performances. The seasons change, we must embrace each one. Technologies change, people change, age, grow and go, but God, his faithfulness to each generation and the heart of his Fathers have never changed and will never leave us. We better imitate his beat in our priority and commitment to the loving families we create. , care and nurture.
Embrace with me if you will, the amusement, bemusement and encouragement found on my road less traveled. I believe you can find a lot here that you recognize even if you are not a Quadfather
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